A UKIP councillor attends an LGBT event, for no other reason than to express his disgust at the "moral decay" that marriage equality will inevitable cause to British society. Oddly enough, there have been no flood warnings in this area and it isn't even raining.
He tells everyone present that he thinks their "alternative" lifestyles aren't natural, but admits there's also something unnatural about him - one of his eyes is false. He lost his right eye in a fight outside a pub, in an argument about how to differentiate Slovakians from Slovenians. The fake eye he has is so realistic that no-one has, to date, successfully managed to guess which one it is.
He puts down a challenge - if the chair of the meeting can correctly guess which is the glass eye, he will rip up his UKIP membership card.
The challenge is accepted and the chair guesses correctly. Stunned, the UKIP councillor asks "how did you know?"
"I chose the one with the sympathetic look in it" came the reply.